[Build] Refactor cmake

[LucasWilkinson]

Refactor out common patterns in the cmake. The main new utilities are optional_cuda_sources which optionally adds cuda sources if there is sufficient compiler and arch support and generate_cuda_sources which handles auto generating kernel files

[github-actions]

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[mergify]

This pull request has merge conflicts that must be resolved before it can be
merged. Please rebase the PR, @LucasWilkinson.

https://docs.github.com/en/pull-requests/collaborating-with-pull-requests/working-with-forks/syncing-a-fork

[github-actions]

This pull request has been automatically marked as stale because it has not had any activity within 90 days. It will be automatically closed if no further activity occurs within 30 days. Leave a comment if you feel this pull request should remain open. Thank you!

[mergify]

This pull request has merge conflicts that must be resolved before it can be
merged. Please rebase the PR, @LucasWilkinson.

https://docs.github.com/en/pull-requests/collaborating-with-pull-requests/working-with-forks/syncing-a-fork

[LucasWilkinson]

keep open